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Member Info

  • Member Type: Regular Member
  • Profile Views: 718 views
  • Friends: 22 friends
  • Last Update: June 29, 2012
  • Joined: October 29, 2011

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Deborrah Cooper

Info

Personal Information

  • First Name Deborrah
  • Last Name Cooper
  • Gender Female
  • City & State Pleasanton California
  • Birthday August 8, 1969

Contact Information

  • Website http://www.askheartbeat.com
  • Twitter msheartbeat
  • Facebook AskHeartbeat2

Personal Details

  • About Me Dating expert and relationship advice columnist. Created and launched the first site on the web to focus on black relationships (AskHeartBeat.Com) in 1997 and its still going strong. Also blog on SurvivingDating.Com and provide advice for readers of the San Francisco Examiner on Examiner.Com. Author of Sucka Free Love! a hysterically funny book on smarter dating without suckas. Find it on Amazon.

  • Updates
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper The history of the black church in the African American community is a rich one. Church was there to support our people during times of hardship during slavery, and the struggle to achieve equal rights during the 1960s. But what has the black church done ...  moreThe history of the black church in the African American community is a rich one. Church was there to support our people during times of hardship during slavery, and the struggle to achieve equal rights during the 1960s. But what has the black church done for you lately? The stories of sexual abuses of children in religious institutions is mind boggling. The number of black women victimized financially by pimp preachers that treat their female congregants as congregation 'hos is staggering. This is one book you won't be able to put down and that will open your eyes to what's really going on in black churches.  less
    3:03
    Object
    Coming in May 2012, this controversial new book addresses the prosperity gospel, how black women are manipulated into staying single, tithing, the history of the black church from slavery through the civil rights era to today, and the many ways black wome...
    • June 29, 2012
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper replied to a topic in the forum How Do You Deal With Copy Cat Bloggers?:
    I've had my own website since 1996, long before the days of Wordpress, right click disabling, and Copyscape. Over those years I've had numerous cases of other black websites stealing content from my sites and putting it up on theirs as if they created it!...  moreI've had my own website since 1996, long before the days of Wordpress, right click disabling, and Copyscape. Over those years I've had numerous cases of other black websites stealing content from my sites and putting it up on theirs as if they created it! No author name, no link back, no credit - nothing. Luckily I have a brother that is an attorney. We've had to send several Cease & Desist letters to individuals, with additional copyright violation notices sent to their web or blog hosting service. One woman took about a dozen articles from my site and put them up on her dating site. Then had the nerve to get an attitude with me saying I must have "forgotten" that I gave her permission to use my stuff. She musta thought I was stupid. But sistah girl got told. She took her entire site down, my brother scared her so badly. The number of stories of scandalous black folks stealing content are many. I cannot see how anyone can claim ignorance of the law when there are full notices on every blog of copyright ...    less
    • June 29, 2012
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper commented on Shawn James's blog entry: This is absolute nonsense. Black men are too sensitive and most suffer from low self esteem. That being the reason why when someone is talking about a man that behave in a fashion that you do not, you take offense and see it in a geenral bashing sense. B...  moreThis is absolute nonsense. Black men are too sensitive and most suffer from low self esteem. That being the reason why when someone is talking about a man that behave in a fashion that you do not, you take offense and see it in a geenral bashing sense. Brotha, if what these women are saying does not apply to you personal, why trip> I doubt you or any other black man would flip out if these women criticized black millionaires, or black prisoners convicted of rape. You wouldn't have much to say about either of those because they do not apply to you. You should feel the same way about the writings women produce that reflect their own personal experiences with black men. They were not dating YOU, so there is no need for you to get huffy about what these women you don't even know have to say about the men in THEIR lives. Black men are not above reproach. Black endure bashing and mistreatment from black men every day. We can't even walk down the street without being called out of our name or groped like we are n...    less
    • June 29, 2012
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper wrote a new blog entry:
    Columnist Slams Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man
    Dating expert and advice columnist Deborrah Cooper, host of The Date Smarter Not Harder Relationships Talk Show took a look at the popularity of comedian turned relationships guru Steve Harvey's best-selling book Act Like a Lady - Think Like a Man. S...
    • May 17, 2012
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper Check out my soon to be released book THE BLACK CHURCH - WHERE WOMEN PRAY AND MEN PREY which discusses the ways unscrupulous men in black churches twist the words of the bible to do wicked, evil things to black women and children in the name of God.  moreCheck out my soon to be released book THE BLACK CHURCH - WHERE WOMEN PRAY AND MEN PREY which discusses the ways unscrupulous men in black churches twist the words of the bible to do wicked, evil things to black women and children in the name of God.  http://www.womenpraymenprey.com  
    • May 17, 2012
    • Deborrah Cooper
      Deleted Member The title alone sounds interesting. But sometimes I think its the other way around for single black women who attend church and see a single man. lol At least from my experience.
      • May 17, 2012
    • Deborrah Cooper
      Deborrah Cooper A woman chasing a man looking for a husband vs. the kind of preying I am talking about are vastly different. In the book I discuss the pressure on single women in churches to marry, and how that pressure motivates them to make choices out of desperation. ...  moreA woman chasing a man looking for a husband vs. the kind of preying I am talking about are vastly different. In the book I discuss the pressure on single women in churches to marry, and how that pressure motivates them to make choices out of desperation. Horny, lonely single women are set up to become victims - sexually, emotionally, financially and sexually in black churches all across the country. http://www.womenpraymenprey.com  less
      • June 29, 2012
      • - 1 likes this
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper posted a topic in the forum News and Announcements:
    Expanding Controversial Blog Post into a Book
    Not sure how many of you were around on the web during the summer of 2010, but if so I'm sure you heard about a blog post I penned entitled "The Black Church: How Black Churches Keep African American Women Single and Lonely!" That thing went viral and had...  moreNot sure how many of you were around on the web during the summer of 2010, but if so I'm sure you heard about a blog post I penned entitled "The Black Church: How Black Churches Keep African American Women Single and Lonely!" That thing went viral and had me on with Tom Joyner, Al Sharpton, CNN, Ebony, Essence, etc.   However, that was a mere article with a very narrow scope. I couldn't go into a lot of depth about the motivations behind the manipulation of black women (largely unmarried) that flock to and support Pastors lifestyles of the rich and famous. Nor did I address the financial fleecing of the flock, the sexual abuse of women and children, and the other nonsense that goes on in Black churches to keep Black women in the clutches of the Pastor. The book is almost finished. I wanted to alert you all so that if anyone had a story they wanted to share with me about some drama that happened in their church (doesn't have to be to you), please send it along to me ASAP.   To find out more informa...    less
    • April 6, 2012
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper is now friends with Elegant Granny.
    • April 3, 2012
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper is now friends with Monique Jeanty.
    • April 3, 2012
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper My newest book is out! The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid. For all those women that pick the wrong guys, tired of being the booty call, tired of men that won't commit, this one is for you. Also good for all those guys that want to have a girlfriend or wife b...  moreMy newest book is out! The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid. For all those women that pick the wrong guys, tired of being the booty call, tired of men that won't commit, this one is for you. Also good for all those guys that want to have a girlfriend or wife but wondering why they never get picked - this one is for you too! From the Broken Patient to the Emotional Wasteland, the Religious Fanatic to the  Dreamweaver and everything in between,I present two dozen of the whackest dudes you'd ever want to meet. They're all described in great detail by what they say and what they do so you can easily recognize them. Available in print or ebook formats. For more information click here: http://survivingdating.com/new-dating-book-shares-the-secrets-to-finding-mr-right  less
    • April 3, 2012
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper is now friends with Emmanuel Barbee.
    • April 3, 2012
  • Monique Jeanty
    Monique Jeanty: Signed.  I never thought about this, but I think it's a good idea.
    • February 13, 2012
  • DangerMan Urbansuperhero
    DangerMan Urbansuperhero: Thank you Deborrah for connecting I appreciate your support. DangerMan "Helping Kids live healthy lives"
    • January 22, 2012
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper wrote a new blog entry:
    Child Sexual Abuse in the Black Community
    Please help me collect participants in a very important research project on Black America. This first ever survey is collecting data on the frequency, type, duration and perpetrators of child sexual abuse in the African American community - a long held se...
    • January 19, 2012
    • Deborrah Cooper
      n/a Zhana What you are dong is so important. There is still a lot of denial in the Black community about what is going on in our neighbourhoods and homes.
      • January 24, 2012
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper is now friends with Christopher Miller.
    • January 19, 2012
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper is now friends with DangerMan Urbansuperhero.
    • January 19, 2012
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper is now friends with K.S. Young.
    • January 19, 2012
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper is now friends with Ian Gardner.
    • January 19, 2012
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper is now friends with Ernest Moore.
    • January 19, 2012
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper is now friends with Phenola Moore.
    • January 19, 2012
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper is now friends with Denise Turney.
    • January 19, 2012
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper posted a topic in the forum Share Your Thoughts:
    Getting Children Out of Restaurant Bars
    I started a peititon on Change.Org to get children out of restaurant bars so parents looking for a night out away from their children, as well as single childless adults, could enjoy having both good food AND drinks in an environment where there are no sc...  moreI started a peititon on Change.Org to get children out of restaurant bars so parents looking for a night out away from their children, as well as single childless adults, could enjoy having both good food AND drinks in an environment where there are no screaming babies. After all, parents have the entire restaurant to enjoy their children! I don't think its fair to the people that want to be out without kids or that do not want to be bothered with other people's children while they drink. If you agree, please click this link and add your name to the list.   http://www.change.org/petitions/department-of-alcohol-beverage-control-revise-section-25665-of-the-california-alcoholic-beverage-control-act    less
    • January 15, 2012
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper Looking for help getting the word out about a petition I have to change a law in California. No, you do not have to be a resident of the state to help us make change.  Please click link and vote. If you could repost to your friends it would be great 
    • January 15, 2012
    • Deborrah Cooper
      Deborrah Cooper http://www.change.org/petitions/department-of-alcohol-beverage-control-re...  morehttp://www.change.org/petitions/department-of-alcohol-beverage-control-revise-section-25665-of-the-california-alcoholic-beverage-control-act  
      • January 15, 2012
  • Christopher Miller
    Christopher Miller: WOW! WOW!! WOW!!! I just left your site, I read your article "How To Get Ready For A First Date" and I watched your video to the right of the screen on dating, WOW!!! You are absolutely RIGHT and it's like you said no father is going to tell his...  moreWOW! WOW!! WOW!!! I just left your site, I read your article "How To Get Ready For A First Date" and I watched your video to the right of the screen on dating, WOW!!! You are absolutely RIGHT and it's like you said no father is going to tell his daughter that she should pay half for the date or pay for the date. I have two beautiful little Princesses and after seeing a princess billboard that did not look like them, and them wanting to look like the princesses on the billboard, it inspired me to create products that will help build Self-Esteem in our little girls. Long story short, I had a discussion with a lady at our local library about father daughter relationships, and after the discussion I wrote an article about it. Ms. Deborrah Cooper  you have to read the article. It is called "A Chance Meeting With A Real Black Doll" and you can find it at: http://blackdoll.mywflp.com   It's amazing, you must read it, thanks!!! ...    less
    • December 10, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper is now friends with n/a Zhana.
    • November 29, 2011
  • n/a Zhana
    n/a Zhana: Hi, Deborrah.  I sent you a message re your bloggers' carnival.  I would love to interview you.  Please send me your email address and I'll send you the interview questions.  Thanks.  Regards, Zhana
    • November 29, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper posted a topic in the forum News and Announcements:
    Child Sexual Abuse in the Black Community
    Research for my next big project has begun. This past week my partners and I launched a survey to gather the experiences of victims, witnesses and perpetrators of child sexual abuse in the Black community. Respondents may have been victimized by a Black p...  moreResearch for my next big project has begun. This past week my partners and I launched a survey to gather the experiences of victims, witnesses and perpetrators of child sexual abuse in the Black community. Respondents may have been victimized by a Black person, or be a Black victim.   Sexual abuse in the Black community has long been a dirty little secret. We want that secret to come out and to lift the veil of shame that many victims of abuse wear throughout their lives. Find out more information or take the survey at the links below. Any help you can provide in spreading the word about this very important project would be greatly appreciated.   If you wish to run the press release in whole or in part on your blog, let me know and I'll email the text to you.   Press Release at the following URL http://survivingdating.com/about/press-release-child-sexual-abuse-in-the-black-community   Survey Information at the following URL: http://survivingdating.com/childhood-sexual-abuse-survey  less
    • November 28, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper replied to a topic in the forum News and Announcements:
    Me too. I have a long history on the web, long before "blogging" was even invented. A cover story was done on me and two other web entrepreneurs in Black Enterprise about 10 years ago... and I was around even before that. My blogs are www.survivingdating...  moreMe too. I have a long history on the web, long before "blogging" was even invented. A cover story was done on me and two other web entrepreneurs in Black Enterprise about 10 years ago... and I was around even before that. My blogs are www.survivingdating.com and www.askheartbeat.com.  
    • November 28, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper is now friends with Barbara Brockus.
    • November 28, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper is now friends with Stephan Labossiere.
    • November 28, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper is now friends with Elizabeth Towns.
    • November 21, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper replied to a topic in the forum Support:
    If you want to increase the number of visitors and responses to your blog, below you can kind a few useful tips :) write quality interesting posts (remember the old adage "content is king!") focus on the headline and search engine optimization. alway...  moreIf you want to increase the number of visitors and responses to your blog, below you can kind a few useful tips :) write quality interesting posts (remember the old adage "content is king!") focus on the headline and search engine optimization. always add pictures and/or videos - the web is highly visual medium. read and comment on other blogs and social networks, especially those relevant to your blog and content. Include your site in your signature. always answer a question with a question and respond to comments. This is of course assuming you have time to keep up with different blogs which I do not). make regular postings - at least once or twice per a week, daily is preferable. Add "tags" and "categories" to all of your posts. use your blog URL as signature in your email. add social network buttons to your blog or website. Add This or Socialize-It are two of the most popular. and finally if you have some extra cash you might want to advertise your blog using Facebook ads or Google adwords ...    less
    • November 21, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper is now friends with Anthony Chambers.
    • November 18, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper posted a topic in the forum Support:
    Making Money With a Blog
    What are your best tips or suggestions for monetizing your blog? As technology keeps changing, I find it kind of a struggle to keep up with my writing, prepare and present to singles groups, and make the technological (back door) changes that would make m...  moreWhat are your best tips or suggestions for monetizing your blog? As technology keeps changing, I find it kind of a struggle to keep up with my writing, prepare and present to singles groups, and make the technological (back door) changes that would make my blogs more profitable.   For instance, I finally got around to setting up Google Analytics on one of my blogs last night. It wasn't hard once I installed the proper Widget, but all of that took time to read, study andf igure out. If we all shared even just ONE tip on making money with our blogs, we could all share in the increased opportunities for greater revenue.    less
    • November 18, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper is now friends with Larry McCullough.
    • November 18, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper is now friends with Milton Wallace.
    • November 18, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper wrote a new blog entry:
    Things Men Should Avoid Saying on First Dates
    When single women get together, the conversation inevitably turns towards men and the strange things they do and say. When not laughing, much of male dating behavior makes women roll their eyes and sigh in disgust.   Admittedly, most men don't real...
    • November 18, 2011
    • Elizabeth Towns likes this.
  • VINCENT JACKSON
    VINCENT JACKSON: SISTER YOU ARE RIGHT BUT WE NEED A PLAN TO MAKE CHANGE EASY SO TO SPEAK WE NEED PUT IN A MANNER THAT THEY CAN UNDERSTAND A SONG , A STAR , A PUBLIC OFFICIAL, OR A SCHOOL TEACHER , AND MOST IMPORTANT THAT THE CHURCH SO PLEASE IF YOU ARE WILLING TO GO OUT O...  moreSISTER YOU ARE RIGHT BUT WE NEED A PLAN TO MAKE CHANGE EASY SO TO SPEAK WE NEED PUT IN A MANNER THAT THEY CAN UNDERSTAND A SONG , A STAR , A PUBLIC OFFICIAL, OR A SCHOOL TEACHER , AND MOST IMPORTANT THAT THE CHURCH SO PLEASE IF YOU ARE WILLING TO GO OUT OF THE BOX REACH HELP ME WIN AND SAVE LIVES OK , I AM YOUR PROTECTOR IN THE STRUGGLE BLEIEVE WHEN I SAY THIS OK . EMAIL ME THEFORGOTTENPEOPLEFOUNDATION@gmx.com my wesite www.forgottenpeoplefoundation.com .  
    • November 8, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper replied to a topic in the forum Poverty & Education:
    See, thats the problem Davita. When someone has a novel, out of the box viewpoint that goes against the widely held views of MOST black people, folks get angry and don't want to even consider the fact that the person may just have a point. I've noticed th...  moreSee, thats the problem Davita. When someone has a novel, out of the box viewpoint that goes against the widely held views of MOST black people, folks get angry and don't want to even consider the fact that the person may just have a point. I've noticed that about Black people when it comes to religion. My opinion is very much on point - it just disagrees with your stance so you attempt to dismiss it as being invalid. That's not really the way to get people to share ideas and come up with solutions. You want to hear what you want to hear. I'm not here to tell you what you want to hear girlfriend, I'm here to say what I THINK. Now you don't have to agree, and that's fine. I'm sure with the hundreds of bloggers on this forum, there will be at least 100 different opinions, each of them interesting in some respect. But there is no need to denigrate my thoughts as being misguided just because you don't like what I say. We can agree to disagree respectfully. At least I can.  less
    • November 2, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper is now friends with Altuawn Nelson.
    • November 2, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper is now friends with Valerie Moore.
    • November 2, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper replied to a topic in the forum Introduce Yourself:
    Hey Veronica! I recently converted that website from Mambo (a content management system which is no longer in development) over to website. Since it was up for 8 years in the prior format, HUNDREDS of documents have yet to be moved over to the new site. ...  moreHey Veronica! I recently converted that website from Mambo (a content management system which is no longer in development) over to website. Since it was up for 8 years in the prior format, HUNDREDS of documents have yet to be moved over to the new site. Sigh. I will be doing that slowly, pretty much one or two at a time as I can. I know we had about a dozen on getting back together with an ex - how to do it, if its worth it, etc. I'll see if I can find one or two this week and put them at the top of the "move over" list. :) And yes, its still up. It's one of the only 100% black owned sites from the big boom era of Black websites in the 1990s. EverythingBlack.Com, NetNoir, Cafe Los Negroes and dozens of others were all big names on the web during that time. AskHeartBeat! is still online and still doing its thing . Just looks a lot different now, but I rather like the clean look. Plus its a lot easier for me to manage.  less
    • November 2, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper replied to a topic in the forum News and Announcements:
    I've always written articles, poems, etc. and been posting on the web since the early 1990s, but they didn't call it "blogging" then. Once WordPress came along, it changed the entire structure of the Internet. I blog because I have a lot to say and an opi...  moreI've always written articles, poems, etc. and been posting on the web since the early 1990s, but they didn't call it "blogging" then. Once WordPress came along, it changed the entire structure of the Internet. I blog because I have a lot to say and an opinion on pretty much everything. Once I started writing I was amazed to find that people actually liked hearing/reading my thoughts. Wow. Who woulda thought? lol  
    • November 2, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper posted a topic in the forum News and Announcements:
    African American Bloggers Carnival
    Submit your best blog posting for inclusion in an upcoming edition of the African American Blog Carnival. Log onto http://survivingdating.com/?p=1928 for more information.  
    • November 2, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper replied to a topic in the forum Poverty & Education:
    It is impossible to have intelligent discourse with someone who represents himself as a man of God, but who castigates, name calls and attempts to demean a female that has a strong and controverting opinion. Now why would a man of God behave in such a man...  moreIt is impossible to have intelligent discourse with someone who represents himself as a man of God, but who castigates, name calls and attempts to demean a female that has a strong and controverting opinion. Now why would a man of God behave in such a manner? Because he is heavily influenced by the Bible and believes that an outspoken woman is out of control, doesn't know her place, and is a threat to his domination and belief in his right to BE RIGHT without question or "back talk" from a woman. Secondly, it is impossible to take seriously any Black person that references the fantasy urban legend document The Willie Lynch letter. Such a document does not exist except in the minds of a select group of Black men that wish to blame Other instead of take responsibility for their behavior, as I said, You have your opinion, and I have mine. I have studied the impact of religion on the minds and mores of Black Americans for years, and I stand strong in my position. Nothing you can say will ever change my thinkin...    less
    • November 2, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper is now friends with Kayte Taylor.
    • November 2, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper is now friends with Ms. Scripter.
    • November 2, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper replied to a topic in the forum What are the solutions?:
    One solution that I have suggested and that has been used with great success is to teach Black children the seven principles (Nguzo Saba) the principles upon which Kwanzaa was developed. Kwanzaa was created to introduce and reinforce seven basic value...  moreOne solution that I have suggested and that has been used with great success is to teach Black children the seven principles (Nguzo Saba) the principles upon which Kwanzaa was developed. Kwanzaa was created to introduce and reinforce seven basic values of African culture which contribute to building and reinforcing family, community and culture among African American people. Theme 1 Umoja (oo-MO-jah) Unity stresses the importance of togetherness for the family and the community, which is reflected in the African saying, "I am We," or "I am because We are." Theme 2 Kujichagulia (koo-gee-cha-goo-LEE-yah) Self-Determination requires that we define our common interests and make decisions that are in the best interest of our family and community. Theme 3 Ujima (oo-GEE-mah) Collective Work and Responsibility reminds us of our obligation to the past, present and future, and that we have a role to play in the community, society, and world. Theme 4 Ujamaa (oo-JAH-mah) Cooperative economics e...    less
    • November 2, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper replied to a topic in the forum Poverty & Education:
    I believe the cause of violence in the Black community is religion. As religion perpetuates the male belief of superiority and domination over females, we have a skyrocketing increase in violence against women and girls. Rapes, gang rapes, molestation, be...  moreI believe the cause of violence in the Black community is religion. As religion perpetuates the male belief of superiority and domination over females, we have a skyrocketing increase in violence against women and girls. Rapes, gang rapes, molestation, beatings, emotional and verbal abuse, as well as femicide are all tools used by men to control what women do, say, wear, and think. Even complete strangers accost women on the street calling teen girls and young women horrible names, grabbing their bodies, intimidating them by following them down the street. Most women living in inner cities are fearful when they leave their homes because of the behavior of Black males towards Black females. It's horrible and disgusting. Unless the problem of male dominance over females is addressed and religions stop teaching men that nonsense, violence in the Black community will continue unabated. Men do not have a right to have their way at a woman's expense. Men do not have a right to take what they want from women, to dem...    less
    • November 2, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper posted a topic in the forum Introduce Yourself:
    Dating and Relationships Expert
    Hey everyone! I joined last week I think it was. I run two blogs on black male/female and interracial relationships, writing alternately under my own name and under my pen name (Ms. HeartBeat). My first site was launched in 1997 and was the first site on ...  moreHey everyone! I joined last week I think it was. I run two blogs on black male/female and interracial relationships, writing alternately under my own name and under my pen name (Ms. HeartBeat). My first site was launched in 1997 and was the first site on the web to focus on Black love. I write a lot - very controversial articles and blog posts, as well as a daily relationship advice column.   Some of you may have heard of me and not known it was me. If you read the article entitled "The Black Church: How Black Churches Keep African American Women Single and Lonely" last year, then you've read some of my stuff.   Anyway, its great to have a place to connect with other writers and bloggers.   less
    • November 2, 2011
  • Deborrah Cooper
    Deborrah Cooper replied to a topic in the forum Rap Music & Violence:
    Absolutely not. Attempting to place blame for people's irresponsible or violent behavior is providing them with a ready made excuse to childishly ignore their sole responsiblity for their actions. It's making it sound like grown men are nothing but puppet...  moreAbsolutely not. Attempting to place blame for people's irresponsible or violent behavior is providing them with a ready made excuse to childishly ignore their sole responsiblity for their actions. It's making it sound like grown men are nothing but puppets on a string, incapable of making a decision to handle conflict or their feelings in constructive ways. Sadly, it is only Black community that allows men to blame anything but themselves for the things they do to hurt others. In the Black community its always someone else'f fault that a fool is violent, uneducated, in prison, jobless, not taking care of his children, etc. In reality, violence and any other antisocial behavior is the fault of no one and nothing other than the offender. The offender MADE A CHOICE to be violent, and it was not rap or any other kind of music that motivated him. Men have been violent since time began, and long before there was crack cocaine or rap music.  less
    • November 2, 2011
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    In How do you feel about the current state of the Black Lit. World? - How do you feel about the current state of the Black Lit. World?
    May 18
    Sable Femme said: April Byrd said:I feel like current black lit...  moreSable Femme said: April Byrd said:I feel like current black lit has just become a dramatized, grimy reflection of the street, hood, and ghetto life. It's putting out an image of personalities that should not be subscribed to. Passion has been displaced with lust, filth and Ignorance. Whenever I turn the pages of Black Expressions all I mostly see is something about sex, and drug dealers, and just ghetto drama ugh. *Disgusted as I type*. Just venting a little, but I know all is not lost. I've heard rave reviews about Ernessa T. Carter's "32 Candles" Has anybody read it? You are so right!  I hate going into my local bookstore and walking over to the African American Lit section only to find Toni Morrison hidden behind 80000 copies of "Candy Licker" and "Welfare Wifeys".   Rotflmao! Touche'!  less
  • Neicy Jones
    In How do you feel about the current state of the Black Lit. World? - How do you feel about the current state of the Black Lit. World?
    May 18
    April D. Byrd said:I feel like current black lit has just become...  moreApril D. Byrd said:I feel like current black lit has just become a dramatized, grimy reflection of the street, hood, and ghetto life. It's putting out an image of personalities that should not be subscribed to. Passion has been displaced with lust, filth and Ignorance. Whenever I turn the pages of Black Expressions all I mostly see is something about sex, and drug dealers, and just ghetto drama ugh. *Disgusted as I type*. Just venting a little, but I know all is not lost. I've heard rave reviews about Ernessa T. Carter's "32 Candles" Has anybody read it?   ^5@ April!  less
  • Neicy Jones
    In How do you feel about the current state of the Black Lit. World? - How do you feel about the current state of the Black Lit. World?
    May 18
    Amen!@ Krystal. Totally agree.
  • Neicy Jones
    In How do you feel about the current state of the Black Lit. World? - How do you feel about the current state of the Black Lit. World?
    May 18
    Cancel TripleA said:It's kind of hard to take some of it serious...  moreCancel TripleA said:It's kind of hard to take some of it seriously when non interchangeable words are used, like "No/Know or They're/Their and There. When I come across blatant spelling errors and speak up, the first thing that happens from others perspective is instantaneous anger. From my standpoint, how can you take a writer seriously if he or she can't seem to grasp or get a decent handle on the English language? Another erroneous error I am seeing are those who put a question mark at the end of a (period) ending statement. Where in the world did that mess ever come from? Why is it that we have a (very) hard time with constructive criticism? No harm, no foul. This is just my *humble* opinion.    less

Blogs

  • Columnist Slams Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man

    Posted May 17, 2012

    Dating expert and advice columnist Deborrah Cooper, host of The Date Smarter Not Harder Relationships Talk Show took a look at the popularity of comedian turned relationships guru Steve Harvey's best-selling book Act Like a Lady - Think Like a Man. Shocked at the positive response of millions o...

  • Child Sexual Abuse in the Black Community

    Posted January 19, 2012

    Please help me collect participants in a very important research project on Black America. This first ever survey is collecting data on the frequency, type, duration and perpetrators of child sexual abuse in the African American community - a long held secret that most people deny is occurring.From ...

  • Things Men Should Avoid Saying on First Dates

    Posted November 18, 2011

    When single women get together, the conversation inevitably turns towards men and the strange things they do and say. When not laughing, much of male dating behavior makes women roll their eyes and sigh in disgust.   Admittedly, most men don't realize that they've scared, insulted or offended...

  • Liar Liar Pants on Fire: Dating Lies

    Posted October 29, 2011

    (c)2011 Deborrah Cooper   Misrepresentations, omissions, and out and out lies are unfortunately a realistic component of the modern dating scene. Here are a few tips to help guide you through the challenges of dating. Learn to recognize the behaviors that indicate your date is not being 100% ...

View All Entries

This Week In Black Blogging

  • Verses & Flow Season 3 Taping Begins, Hosted by Omari Hardwick

    Posted by @JoinBBC Staff - April 30
    Black Bloggers Connect is in Los Angeles, California attending the season 3 taping of Lexus' Verses & Flow, which airs on TV One. Verses & Flow highli...  more Black Bloggers Connect is in Los Angeles, California attending the season 3 taping of Lexus' Verses & Flow, which airs on TV One. Verses & Flow highlights the beauty of spoken word and neo-soul music in the African American community. The sho...  

  • Got Talent? Actors Showcase in NYC Offers Young Black Actors A Chance to Audition For Gigs

    Posted by @JoinBBC Staff - May 17
    FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE   New York, New York –The Collaborations Group presents: Collaborations NYC Actors & Filmmaker’s Showcase, a live a...  moreFOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE   New York, New York –The Collaborations Group presents: Collaborations NYC Actors & Filmmaker’s Showcase, a live actors showcase for young black actors in New York, this Tuesday, May 21st 2013 at Taj Lounge...  

  • First Black Health App For iPhone and Android Released Along With African American Greeting Card App

    Posted by @JoinBBC Staff - May 18
    Columbia, MD --- Savvier Health, LLC is pleased to announce the first African American health app for Android and iPhone. Total Health for African Ame...  moreColumbia, MD --- Savvier Health, LLC is pleased to announce the first African American health app for Android and iPhone. Total Health for African American Christians takes a mind, body, and spirit approach to healing some of the most de...  

  • Vivian Green Graces The Stage At Verses & Flow

    Posted by @JoinBBC Staff - May 1
    Songstress Vivian Green graced the stage of The Belasco in Los Angeles on Tuesday April 30th, for the Season 3 taping of Verses & Flow. The audience went ...  more Songstress Vivian Green graced the stage of The Belasco in Los Angeles on Tuesday April 30th, for the Season 3 taping of Verses & Flow. The audience went wild when she sang her hit song Emotional Rollercoaster. Verses & Flow is a one-of-a-kin...  

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    'Objectives of serial bullies are Power, Control, Domination and Subjugation'.   Bullying has been an integral part of the makeup of humankind since homes were the caves of Europe and palaces and huts in Africa.  Of late, we've re-visited this phenomenon among human beings with a clear...
  • The Mother-Child Bond of Life
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    Posted by S Sam
    The other day, I attended a college graduation ceremony and observed something that verified something I already knew, but hadn’t actually thought about.  Seated in front of me was a young mother and next to her was her newborn baby.  The infant couldn’t have been more than two...
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  • Columnist Slams Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man

    Posted May 17, 2012

    Dating expert and advice columnist Deborrah Cooper, host of The Date Smarter Not Harder Relationships Talk Show took a look at the popularity of comedian turned relationships guru Steve Harvey's best-selling book Act Like a Lady - Think Like a Man. Shocked at the positive response of millions o...

  • Child Sexual Abuse in the Black Community

    Posted January 19, 2012

    Please help me collect participants in a very important research project on Black America. This first ever survey is collecting data on the frequency, type, duration and perpetrators of child sexual abuse in the African American community - a long held secret that most people deny is occurring.From ...

  • Things Men Should Avoid Saying on First Dates

    Posted November 18, 2011

    When single women get together, the conversation inevitably turns towards men and the strange things they do and say. When not laughing, much of male dating behavior makes women roll their eyes and sigh in disgust.   Admittedly, most men don't realize that they've scared, insulted or offended...

  • Liar Liar Pants on Fire: Dating Lies

    Posted October 29, 2011

    (c)2011 Deborrah Cooper   Misrepresentations, omissions, and out and out lies are unfortunately a realistic component of the modern dating scene. Here are a few tips to help guide you through the challenges of dating. Learn to recognize the behaviors that indicate your date is not being 100% ...

View All Entries
  • June 29, 2012 12:11:31 AM EDT
    in the topic Plagiarism In The Blogosphere - Dealing With Copy Cat Bloggers in the forum How Do You Deal With Copy Cat Bloggers?
    I've had my own website since 1996, long before the days of Wordpress, right click disabling, and Copyscape. Over those years I've had numerous cases of other black websites stealing content from my sites and putting it up on theirs as if they created it! No author name, no link back, no credit - nothing. Luckily I have a brother that is an attorney. We've had to send several Cease & Desist letters to individuals, with additional copyright violation notices sent to their web or blog hosting service. One woman took about a dozen articles from my site and put them up on her dating site. Then had the nerve to get an attitude with me saying I must have "forgotten" that I gave her permission to use my stuff. She musta thought I was stupid. But sistah girl got told. She took her entire site down, my brother scared her so badly. The number of stories of scandalous black folks stealing content are many. I cannot see how anyone can claim ignorance of the law when there are full notices on every blog of copyright ownership. There is no adult online that does not know what that means.
  • April 6, 2012 4:02:30 AM EDT
    in the topic Expanding Controversial Blog Post into a Book in the forum News and Announcements

    Not sure how many of you were around on the web during the summer of 2010, but if so I'm sure you heard about a blog post I penned entitled "The Black Church: How Black Churches Keep African American Women Single and Lonely!" That thing went viral and had me on with Tom Joyner, Al Sharpton, CNN, Ebony, Essence, etc.

     

    However, that was a mere article with a very narrow scope. I couldn't go into a lot of depth about the motivations behind the manipulation of black women (largely unmarried) that flock to and support Pastors lifestyles of the rich and famous. Nor did I address the financial fleecing of the flock, the sexual abuse of women and children, and the other nonsense that goes on in Black churches to keep Black women in the clutches of the Pastor.


    The book is almost finished. I wanted to alert you all so that if anyone had a story they wanted to share with me about some drama that happened in their church (doesn't have to be to you), please send it along to me ASAP.

     

    To find out more information about the upcoming book "The Black Church: Where Women Pray and Men Prey!" you can click this link.

    http://survivingdating.com/the-black-church-where-women-pray-and-men-prey

  • January 15, 2012 5:48:07 PM EST
    in the topic Getting Children Out of Restaurant Bars in the forum Share Your Thoughts

    I started a peititon on Change.Org to get children out of restaurant bars so parents looking for a night out away from their children, as well as single childless adults, could enjoy having both good food AND drinks in an environment where there are no screaming babies. After all, parents have the entire restaurant to enjoy their children! I don't think its fair to the people that want to be out without kids or that do not want to be bothered with other people's children while they drink. 

    If you agree, please click this link and add your name to the list.

     

    http://www.change.org/petitions/department-of-alcohol-beverage-control-revise-section-25665-of-the-california-alcoholic-beverage-control-act

     

  • November 28, 2011 2:42:39 AM EST
    in the topic Child Sexual Abuse in the Black Community in the forum News and Announcements

    Research for my next big project has begun. This past week my partners and I launched a survey to gather the experiences of victims, witnesses and perpetrators of child sexual abuse in the Black community. Respondents may have been victimized by a Black person, or be a Black victim.

     

    Sexual abuse in the Black community has long been a dirty little secret. We want that secret to come out and to lift the veil of shame that many victims of abuse wear throughout their lives. Find out more information or take the survey at the links below. Any help you can provide in spreading the word about this very important project would be greatly appreciated.

     

    If you wish to run the press release in whole or in part on your blog, let me know and I'll email the text to you.

     

    Press Release at the following URL

    http://survivingdating.com/about/press-release-child-sexual-abuse-in-the-black-community

     

    Survey Information at the following URL:

    http://survivingdating.com/childhood-sexual-abuse-survey

  • November 28, 2011 2:23:49 AM EST
    in the topic Interviewing Black Bloggers in the forum News and Announcements
    Me too. I have a long history on the web, long before "blogging" was even invented. A cover story was done on me and two other web entrepreneurs in Black Enterprise about 10 years ago... and I was around even before that. My blogs are www.survivingdating.com and www.askheartbeat.com.
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    Object
    By Deborrah Cooper
    102 views
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    Dating Tips for Men: Why Women Leave
    By Deborrah Cooper
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