This blog is one that I am all too familiar with. When I say that I am HAPPILY single, often I have been told that I am not being truthful. I do not take offense to this because I know that I am truly happy in my state, and the opinion of another doesn’t bother me. The part that most miss is that I am happily single "with OPTIONS". I am only alone when I choose to be. This I find to be more often than not, for I no longer deal with foolishness. My decision for singleness comes on the heels of a very traumatizing divorce from a very long relationship which consumed most of my twenties and all of my thirties. It was a very unhealthy relationship that I have vowed to never enter into again. It was a relationship in which I found myself becoming a person in which was never meant by God for me to be. I allowed myself to be made very angry and temperamental to the point of sometimes even striking my mate due to losing self control. I was not in control of me! I allowed the actions of someone else determine who I was going to be on any given day. The person I had become has now been buried. She no longer lives here; nor will I allow her to ever live here again.
Upon separation and subsequently divorce from my mate, I found that I had been truly damaged by the relationship and had lost most of what was once very high self esteem, joy, and all of the little trust in which I had ever had in men. I decided at that time that I would take time for "Bre"; get me back. I did not date for at least the first 6 months and totally immersed myself into my school work. That initial sabbatical and continuous strive even today in spending time alone is one of the best therapeutic gifts in which anyone could ever give themselves. But everyone can’t do it. I find it really pathetic when I see females or males going from one relationship after another, after another… They vehemently believe that that they have to have someone to make them whole and never take the time to know themselves. They continue to transfer baggage from one relationship to another. It never dawns on them that the successful relationship in which they seek will never be found for they don’t allow the necessary time of being along prior to entering into a new one. I don’t profess to be an expert, nor do I believe that the length of time is the same for all. All I do believe is that there MUST be some time taken for self.
I am attractive, intelligent, and professional and have found the confidence once stripped of. I love spending time alone and don't need the company of a man to validate me. I am a queen and a gift, as all women should think of themselves. My single state has been for about 6 1/2 years now. It is a state of choice not circumstance. I have grown a lot during this time. One of my first growths comes by seeing and believing that all men are not the same. I have met a lot of great guys, but because I now know who I am, and whose I am, I won't settle and will wait on my king. In the mean time I enjoy very healthy dating options, all while belonging to no one but myself. It is a beautiful world!