Tyese Knighten
The following is in response to a question about my thoughts about finances in a marriage. Before I start let me state for the record that I have never been married and my thoughts here may very well be my delusional dream about what a marriage should look like in regards to finances.
believe that the man should be the head of the household, thus he should take care of his family. However, given the society that we live in today where most women make more than their husbands, to think that a man can pay for everything is unrealistic. Unless your man is making a substantial amount of money, you need two incomes to make it nowadays. I know that I can NOT be in a marriage where we are struggling. Even though a women would love to be "sat down" and not have to work, if my husband didn't make enough money by himself to be able to support the family and uphold a certain lifestyle, then I would have to take my butt to work and I have no problem with that. I have always stood by the saying, "I can do bad by myself." Why get into a relationship or marriage where you were doing better alone, than with someone else? I never understood that. "For better or for worse," is all good but why do "worse" when you can do 'better" alone? I'm just saying...
As far as how the bills are divided, I think that the man should be responsible for the house note and car payments. The woman should be responsible for utilities and groceries. That is if there isn't a joint account that both parties should be contributing to for household expenses. Now the problem here may be just how much each party is contributing and I guess that it should be based on each parties income. 50/50 in a household account is very realistic, as it leaves the other 50% to be put into a separate personal account that I believe both parties should have.
Some women believe that their separate account should be a "secret" but I don't think that it is necessary to have a "secret" account. Your husband should know that you do and there doesn't need to be an argument about it. If you work, you should have your own money and not have to depend on your husband to give you money, although he should still give you money when asked. I think that it is still very important, even in a marriage, for each party to still have some sort of independence. To have to ask your husband for money every time you want a new dress or shoes, is ridiculous. You should be able to buy whatever you like.
Who should pay the bills in a marriage? I think that it should be, whoever is better with money. I know that it would not be me, thus, I have to find a husband who handles money well because I do not. Two people in a marriage who are not good with money spells a recipe for disaster.
Now that I have given you my views on finances in a marriage, tell me what works for you in your marriage? Do you have separate accounts or one and how did you decide who was responsible for paying for what?
